First and foremost, living powerfully is about not being a victim. Life has ups and downs, tragedies and triumphs. When bad things happen, and I seek to place blame, when I rail about the injustice of it all, when I complain about the SYSTEM or SOCIETY, the more I give away my power. I have decided that the story is all about how innocent I am and that all this stuff happens without my consent. With every telling, I am less.
There is another way.
In 2013 I was laid off from my job as the operations director of a printing company. At the time, I was focused on my loss of income, insurance, security. Five years on, I have enjoyed working at different projects, getting to nap in the afternoon before class, and working with others who have a similar passion for movement. I could have spent the last five years talking about how poor the company was run, but I found peace with the situation by looking ahead. Almost immediately, one of my good friends introduced me to someone I’ve been working with for 5 years – and I also get to do what I love. I chose not to blame, but to simply accept that when I work for someone else, I don’t get to control all the outcomes. Some things I can prepare for – others I can’t. I choose to not be a victim – I choose the mindset of the powerful.
How do you DO it? In one of my favorite books, the Art of Possibility, author Benjamin Zander refers to “being the board.” He’s talking about life as a board game – and you are aren’t one of the game pieces – you are the board. What he means is that everything that happens is your responsibility, because your world is where it’s happening. Please know that I’m not talking “fault” here. Fault and responsibility are two different entirely different things. When I drive, I take the risk that another driver might be drunk, sleepy or reckless. I OWN that, therefore I am powerful. If a drunk driver hits me, I might be angry, want revenge – and suddenly I’m stressed, I can’t think about the positive things in my life, and I’m obsessed with this horrible driver that ruined my day, and my car. This mindset is completely understandable – but what does it do to me? Nothing really good. If instead, I look at the fact that I chose to be on the road, and I know that on any given day there are drunk drivers out there, and one of them might hit me. Suddenly I have given myself the powerful realization, that I CHOSE this, and I can deal with the consequences.
Choice is a powerful antidote to victimhood. Many times in my career, I’ve had discussions with individuals who are unhappy in their job – not necessarily with the occupation, but the daily grind of their current employment. Knowing the answer, I often say – why don’t you leave? Pretty much 100% of the time, I get a shocked look and the answer: “But I CAN’T leave. I need the income, the insurance, the stability.” For everyone who has read this far. You CAN do anything you want. But every choice has consequences. In looking at the consequences, and making a choice – whether it’s to stay in a job or leave, whether it’s to drive to the grocery store – if you look at the possible outcomes clearly and accept the risks, you’ve taken the first step into accepting your innate inner power.
There is another way.
In 2013 I was laid off from my job as the operations director of a printing company. At the time, I was focused on my loss of income, insurance, security. Five years on, I have enjoyed working at different projects, getting to nap in the afternoon before class, and working with others who have a similar passion for movement. I could have spent the last five years talking about how poor the company was run, but I found peace with the situation by looking ahead. Almost immediately, one of my good friends introduced me to someone I’ve been working with for 5 years – and I also get to do what I love. I chose not to blame, but to simply accept that when I work for someone else, I don’t get to control all the outcomes. Some things I can prepare for – others I can’t. I choose to not be a victim – I choose the mindset of the powerful.
How do you DO it? In one of my favorite books, the Art of Possibility, author Benjamin Zander refers to “being the board.” He’s talking about life as a board game – and you are aren’t one of the game pieces – you are the board. What he means is that everything that happens is your responsibility, because your world is where it’s happening. Please know that I’m not talking “fault” here. Fault and responsibility are two different entirely different things. When I drive, I take the risk that another driver might be drunk, sleepy or reckless. I OWN that, therefore I am powerful. If a drunk driver hits me, I might be angry, want revenge – and suddenly I’m stressed, I can’t think about the positive things in my life, and I’m obsessed with this horrible driver that ruined my day, and my car. This mindset is completely understandable – but what does it do to me? Nothing really good. If instead, I look at the fact that I chose to be on the road, and I know that on any given day there are drunk drivers out there, and one of them might hit me. Suddenly I have given myself the powerful realization, that I CHOSE this, and I can deal with the consequences.
Choice is a powerful antidote to victimhood. Many times in my career, I’ve had discussions with individuals who are unhappy in their job – not necessarily with the occupation, but the daily grind of their current employment. Knowing the answer, I often say – why don’t you leave? Pretty much 100% of the time, I get a shocked look and the answer: “But I CAN’T leave. I need the income, the insurance, the stability.” For everyone who has read this far. You CAN do anything you want. But every choice has consequences. In looking at the consequences, and making a choice – whether it’s to stay in a job or leave, whether it’s to drive to the grocery store – if you look at the possible outcomes clearly and accept the risks, you’ve taken the first step into accepting your innate inner power.
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