Do or Do Not...There is No TRY (Yoda)
Listen to yourself sometime. Do your words reflect your intentions? Your true intentions? Our words are so very important, because they launch our intention into the world. Be careful with the words you say, because they are paving the road to either reach your goals and dreams – or keep them forever out of reach.
As I go about the teaching of the martial arts, I find myself paying enormous attention to how people speak, the actual words they use. My students know that I have no patience for the phrase “I can’t.” “I can’t” usually means something else entirely. It means “I won’t”, “I don’t want to” or “I’m afraid.” Any of those are acceptable to me because they reflect honesty with our self. “I can’t” is an excuse, an escape hatch that allows us to throw in the towel of defeat, and to do so while convincing ourselves that we are not good enough. I don’t allow those words in my classes.
Another phrase that offers an escape hatch from reaching our goals is the phrase “I’ll try.” We are all familiar with our resolutions to lose weight, save money, eat better, write that novel. As long as we couch those desires into words with an escape hatch, we are doomed to frustration. As long as we are “trying” to lose weight, it’s okay if we don’t, because we are only trying. As long as we are “trying” to make our dream come true of being a published author, it’s okay if we don’t do anything about it, because we are only “trying.”
What is the alternative? When we speak differently, we act differently, and we think differently. If you are in charge of planning a wedding and the date is set, there’s a whole different way of thinking about it. There are lists of tasks to complete, a timeline to be kept, because that date isn’t going to move. So we better move, right?
If our dreams are important to us, then we need to bring that CONCRETE, TANGIBLE thinking to them. If we want to lose weight, make more money, write a novel, the first step is to see that result like a tangible, concrete thing. Like a stone in your hand with weight, texture, color, smell, even taste.
Shift into concrete mode when thinking about a goal. Some key points:
Pay attention to the way you speak, and if you really want something to change, speak about it in a positive, concrete way. There is no "try."
Listen to yourself sometime. Do your words reflect your intentions? Your true intentions? Our words are so very important, because they launch our intention into the world. Be careful with the words you say, because they are paving the road to either reach your goals and dreams – or keep them forever out of reach.
As I go about the teaching of the martial arts, I find myself paying enormous attention to how people speak, the actual words they use. My students know that I have no patience for the phrase “I can’t.” “I can’t” usually means something else entirely. It means “I won’t”, “I don’t want to” or “I’m afraid.” Any of those are acceptable to me because they reflect honesty with our self. “I can’t” is an excuse, an escape hatch that allows us to throw in the towel of defeat, and to do so while convincing ourselves that we are not good enough. I don’t allow those words in my classes.
Another phrase that offers an escape hatch from reaching our goals is the phrase “I’ll try.” We are all familiar with our resolutions to lose weight, save money, eat better, write that novel. As long as we couch those desires into words with an escape hatch, we are doomed to frustration. As long as we are “trying” to lose weight, it’s okay if we don’t, because we are only trying. As long as we are “trying” to make our dream come true of being a published author, it’s okay if we don’t do anything about it, because we are only “trying.”
What is the alternative? When we speak differently, we act differently, and we think differently. If you are in charge of planning a wedding and the date is set, there’s a whole different way of thinking about it. There are lists of tasks to complete, a timeline to be kept, because that date isn’t going to move. So we better move, right?
If our dreams are important to us, then we need to bring that CONCRETE, TANGIBLE thinking to them. If we want to lose weight, make more money, write a novel, the first step is to see that result like a tangible, concrete thing. Like a stone in your hand with weight, texture, color, smell, even taste.
Shift into concrete mode when thinking about a goal. Some key points:
- Visualize the end result with clarity and record it.
- Verbalize the intention, describe it and record it in writing or another method.
- List, again in writing, what activities will lead to that result. Be specific.
- Schedule the end result. Give yourself a timeline. If it’s a long way off, schedule the leading tasks for completion.
- Evaluate on a regular basis. Are my activities getting me closer to my goal? If not, change them.
Pay attention to the way you speak, and if you really want something to change, speak about it in a positive, concrete way. There is no "try."
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