I don’t do a list of New Year’s Resolutions. For me, it’s always been an opportunity to break a bunch of promises to myself. I am making an exception this winter season, though: I am making one commitment. I’m going to do what I tell my youngest students in every single class. I am going to pay attention.
The last 12 months have been rewarding, nerve wracking, inspirational and anxiety creating. The last three I feel like I’ve been caught in a wind tunnel of appointments, opportunities, projects, and expectations. I found myself seeking moments when the phone wouldn’t sound, the e-mail would be dormant. I went on a reading campaign that kept the library busy finding volumes to fill my need to feel secure.
Two of those books in that long list were Buddhist volumes, by monks who could write in a way that resonated with me. I read my own words coming back to me: Pay attention.
Don’t pay attention to any one thing. Pay attention to the now. What am I doing in this moment? Focus on that, and only that. Cook with attention, gratitude and enjoy the feeling of preparation of nutritious and tasty dishes. Cleaning the bathroom? I am doing it as an act of love for myself, because I enjoy a clean environment. Working on a lesson plan? How can I put the maximum enjoyment out of a true gift, sharing my love of martial arts with students who have become friends.
Even as I write, I know this commitment isn’t easy. I am tempted to get up, look out the window, get a snack, anything to move change my focus. But I also know that finishing this essay will be its own reward, and maybe someone will get a lesson or an inspirational moment from it. It is also part of my commitment to pay attention.
This commitment has already caused me to change my behaviors. I plan each activity, because it is important. If I commit time to an activity, it is going to be with as close to 100% of my effort, skills, attention as I have the ability to muster. This commitment has caused me to revise and shorten my normal list of stuff to do. I am doing fewer activities, but each one is done as well as I can possibly do it, and I have to actually ask myself “How important is this activity? Does it warrant an investment of time?” It is absolutely amazing how this changes what you do when you pay attention to the value of the time and effort expended. So far, the house is cleaner, and I have gotten more done for my clients and my students.
I’ve also gotten more rest, because when I decide to rest, to watch a football game, I am THERE, I am paying attention and I know that I am deliberately doing something I enjoy.
The last 12 months have been rewarding, nerve wracking, inspirational and anxiety creating. The last three I feel like I’ve been caught in a wind tunnel of appointments, opportunities, projects, and expectations. I found myself seeking moments when the phone wouldn’t sound, the e-mail would be dormant. I went on a reading campaign that kept the library busy finding volumes to fill my need to feel secure.
Two of those books in that long list were Buddhist volumes, by monks who could write in a way that resonated with me. I read my own words coming back to me: Pay attention.
Don’t pay attention to any one thing. Pay attention to the now. What am I doing in this moment? Focus on that, and only that. Cook with attention, gratitude and enjoy the feeling of preparation of nutritious and tasty dishes. Cleaning the bathroom? I am doing it as an act of love for myself, because I enjoy a clean environment. Working on a lesson plan? How can I put the maximum enjoyment out of a true gift, sharing my love of martial arts with students who have become friends.
Even as I write, I know this commitment isn’t easy. I am tempted to get up, look out the window, get a snack, anything to move change my focus. But I also know that finishing this essay will be its own reward, and maybe someone will get a lesson or an inspirational moment from it. It is also part of my commitment to pay attention.
This commitment has already caused me to change my behaviors. I plan each activity, because it is important. If I commit time to an activity, it is going to be with as close to 100% of my effort, skills, attention as I have the ability to muster. This commitment has caused me to revise and shorten my normal list of stuff to do. I am doing fewer activities, but each one is done as well as I can possibly do it, and I have to actually ask myself “How important is this activity? Does it warrant an investment of time?” It is absolutely amazing how this changes what you do when you pay attention to the value of the time and effort expended. So far, the house is cleaner, and I have gotten more done for my clients and my students.
I’ve also gotten more rest, because when I decide to rest, to watch a football game, I am THERE, I am paying attention and I know that I am deliberately doing something I enjoy.
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